Friday, August 28, 2009

Christian Carter's Tips for Natural and Lasting Attraction

I was watching Christian Carter’s program, natural and Lasting Attraction, when I realized that at some point in every woman’s life, there comes a time when she experiences this -you are involved with a wonderful guy – your relationship is smooth and seems to be flowing naturally. You really think that he may be the one! Then he gradually begins to withdraw, maybe not texting as often or calling when he gets home from work, or starting to hang out with the guys more and more.

Soon enough, you start feeling anxious and nervous, maybe a little clingy and needy, according to Christian Carter. Maybe he calls you and he wants to “have a chat”. He breaks up with you – or maybe says he needs some time away, maybe using the “it’s not you, it’s me” line, or “I’m not ready for a relationship” - whatever excuse he dreams up, and you are left wondering where you went wrong. I’m betting that you tried many different things to get him to stay, too. In Christian Carter’s estimation, they might have gone something like this:

You might have gotten totally ticked – and gave him an ultimatum or tried to guilt trip him into staying in your relationship – believing 100% in your heart of hearts that he would be happy as soon as he let himself get settled into your relationship. Christian Carter believes this is one of the first things that women do when they feel threatened in their love life.

Or, maybe you got jealous. Perhaps you went out on a date just to spite him. Maybe you try to ignore him and see if you can show him how much it hurts when the shoe is on the other foot. Or maybe you just said you had a date lined up in hopes that it would get back to him and he would realize that he loved you indeed and no other man could have you.

Or, Christian Carter says, you might have tried to be his “best buddy”, being all chummy and happy, trying to get him to see you as one of the guys, with benefits. Or perhaps you were trying to demonstrate your worth by being helpful and doing all kinds of little things for him. You probably did this because you were hoping that he could understand that you could be a better friend to him than his guy-friends and were therefore worth hanging on to.

Or you could do what I did and go about torturing yourself and acting like having a casual relationship is a-ok with you! THAT is fun – because you cannot let him see that he is ripping out your soul every time he walks out the door, or acts distant or remote. Then you get to sit at home and seethe, and become more angry, ore jealous, more demanding…and the list goes on.

Christian Carter says it’s a vicious cycle, and he is 100% right. And I am going to go out on a limb and say that none of these methods worked for you, (or me!) even though they make perfect sense to us as women. That is the unbelievable thing, to me, now that I have learned a lot about relationships and read a LOT of dating advice. Christian Carter believes that women MEAN WELL when they react to situations like this in a relationship – and I agree completely. I know I did. I thought that by showing my man my feelings of hurt, frustration and bewilderment, that he would see into me and UNDERSTAND where I was coming from. The problem is, that is not how MEN think, and so all we are doing is pushing the buttons that drive them away even more, leading to MORE distance, just the opposite effect of what we were looking for.

I personally think Christian Carter and his Natural and Lasting Attraction philosophy rock, so I turned to him in order to learn how to promote attraction and continuity within my next relationship. What Christian Carter says is that in order to promote Natural and Lasting Attraction you need to start by fixing some things within your own head first.

That makes total sense to me, as I know that in order to really change anything in your life, you first have to change inside yourself. I wish I could say there was a magic phrase that would turn your relationship around in an instant, but there is not – like most things that are genuine and truly works, it takes learning and commitment. There are ways to promote Natural and Lasting Attraction so that your failing relationship becomes healthy, steady and FULL of deep, blossoming love between you and your man. What you need to do to make this kind of attraction a reality in your relationship is to START doing what it is that makes a man FEEL ATTRACTED and MORE INTERESTED in you.

Using Christian Carter’s values, you can easily understand what creates natural and lasting attraction, and what maintains it in viable, steady relationships, and bring that into your OWN relationship. What I mean is that the biggest roadblock most ladies face when it comes to getting through to guys and getting past the stereotypes and on into a true-blue relationship with a worthwhile man is not having the ability to see past their OWN mindset. Overcome that using the tools that Christian Carter gives you and….viola!

Here are a few quick tips that you can use starting today to make your relationship more fun, vibrant and healthy.

The first tip from Christian Carter is to always remember that actions speak louder than words. If you are telling him nothing is wrong, and it is obvious that something is – he will (more than likely) know it. And if he does, and you are lying to him – that is not going to promote honesty and emotional connection. So be aware of what you are telling him with your body, your tone of voice, your eyes, everything.

Next, Christian Carter says to be sure to act in a mature and calm manner. Don’t fly off the handle, shrieking and screaming when you get mad. Don’t text him and say horrible things and then try to take it back later. Remain calm, emotionally mature and cool when you are dealing with him. Christian Carter says that men love COOL girls, and its true – they want to be around someone who they can trust to react a certain way in a situation, and that means being calm, cool and collected.

Another rule Christian Carter gives his readers is to quit obsessing about everything he does. When you try, like I said in my last post, to OVERTHINK your intuition, that is when you get into trouble with anxiety and neediness. If you start scrutinizing everything he does, says and doesn’t say, he is going to begin to feel like an alien species under the microscope, and he will leave. So relax – and remember the things you can and cannot change. The only thing you can change is …..what? That’s right! YOURSELF. (Come on, work with me here!)

So these are just a few of the most basic tips about natural and lasting attraction that Christian Carter shares with his readers and watchers. For more information, please check out Christian Carter’s programs or my website.

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