Christian Carter's Question May Really Piss You Off

Dating advice and relationship questions are why I am here – I have studied the works of Christian Carter, Rori Raye, Emily McKay and many others in order to help YOU figure out your relationship and dating problems. I firmly believe, though, that EVERYONE can benefit from another’s problems – and the answers to those problems.

I would like to share with you this letter I got from a very troubled young lady. This is what she wrote to me:

Dear Sarah -

I am dating a guy who isn’t perfect and I accept him that way but he like points out every imperfections of mine always. I know I really love him and very happy in his company, and each time I try to get to know him better he just lies to me. I am 22 and I really don’t know how old he is BECAUSE he has told me 3 different ages like 26,23,and 25 I mean I tell him all about me we are so close yet apart because I don’t know his family or background he has refused to tell his people about me let alone introduce us. When I told him I was going to tell my parents about him he got hysterical and said I should wait for about 3 years more before I do. At first we talked about marriage and all when we first met. But now it seems everything I do pisses him off, and sometimes he gets abusive. He complains about the way I do things, blames me for anything that goes wrong even if am I and he is sure he had a hand in it I find this hard to understand he is so difficult and now he has made me come to think I am really at fault at least when we talk, he just wouldn’t admit to it. he speaks angrily to me, he had my pictures on his pc before he went to see his family but deleted it all when he got there, speaks hurtful words to me we can’t talk things out without him getting aggressive when I try to tell him he is hurting my feelings, doesn’t care how I feel, stops me talking to any male because he has trust issues. I don’t know if it’s because I live with him or I see him every minute or because he knows I love him so much and he is taking me for granted. I don’t know what to do I feel sad and have sleepless nights I think I need quick help before I go crazy just thinking. well at first I thought I was being too curious or clingy but now I don’t ask him questions what so ever and it’s still the same and even worse what do you think I should do he has asked for break up a couple of times but stops after some talks and reassurances from me.

Troubled –
Miss D

This is my answer to this young lady.

Dear Miss D –

I have read your letter over several times now, and I would like to read it BACK to you, in sort of a short-hand form. Sometimes, situations are not clear to us, as we are in the middle of them, kind of like the old saying “You cannot see the forest for the trees”. Or – as Dr. Phil and Christan Carter have been known to say, “How’s that workin’ out for ya?”

Ok, so your boyfriend is….
-A liar (he won’t tell you his real age, his family, his background, his friends, etc)
-Abusive (physical, emotional, verbal, it does not matter. Abuse is abuse.)
-Blaming (i.e. – too immature to take his own part in fault that may be his, too egotistical to admit wrongdoing, judgmental and narrow-minded?)
-Has tried to break up with you already

Ok – honey. I know you say you love this guy – BUT WHY? I see no mention of redeeming qualities here, which says to me that this is just base attraction – not real love. In other words, according to Christian Carter, its infatuation, not love. Attraction can come on many levels, and while Christian Carter says that attraction is not a choice – and I believe he is 100% right – you DO have the choice as t what you do with that.

Let me tell you in no uncertain terms – WALK AWAY NOW. Leave this BOY that you are trailing after like a lost puppy and find yourself a competent, responsible MAN who will treat you with the dignity and respect that you deserve. (In fact, go read Christian Carter’s Catch Him and Keep him eBook, page 55, about the dangers of chemistry. )

Now – let me ask you the toughest question of them all. this question, inspired by Christian Carter's eBook, may really piss you off, but keep reading.

Is it the drama you like?

There had to be some kind of alarm bells going off in your head as you were writing that letter to me. Everything you listed about this BOY is bad – so it begs the question – is it the drama that you like about him? Do you like having trouble in your life? Does it excite you? You may think these are mean questions – and I do not intend them to be. What I DO intend, tough, is for you to take a very close look at WHY you are with this child – because that is what he is. If it’s the “Bad Boy” charisma, as Christian carter calls it, that you like, then you need to learn the difference between a real man and a boy who is pretending to be a man.

A real man can be dashing, take charge, powerful and charismatic. But what he will NOT do is lie to you, hide you, push you away and blame you for the wrongs in his life. A REAL man will bring you to his side as a partner and confidant; he will uplift you, help you, laugh with you, hear your fears and your triumphs, and generally be your PARTNER in life. He WILL excite you and make you feel that rush you may be craving from your bad boy, but he will NOT leave you feeling empty, used and bewildered.

Do you see what I am saying?

Now, one final thought to leave you with – and it is taken from Christian Carter’s Catch Him and Keep Him eBook on page 149. “No single person can ever give you exactly what you want emotionally.”

ONLY YOU can do this for yourself. So maybe it’s time you started questing inward for the love you need before you try to find that “wholeness” from another source that leaves you less than fulfilled.

Christian Carter Tells Women - Screw Validation!

Communication is a key concept that Christian Carter discusses in his Catch Him and Keep him eBook. How women respond to men is an integral part of relationship management – on any level in any situation – and can really make or break a relationship.

We have all heard, whether we are a man or a woman, that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, we are two sides of a different coin, we are worlds apart and make no sense (a line from Last of the Mohicans that I have always loved!) etc. The general consensus, however it is phrased, is that men and women are two very separate species when it comes to communication and understanding.

I get that, and its ok! Its OK to not always understand what your man is thinking. Christian Carter stresses in catch Him and Keep Him that it is natural and to be EXPECTED.

However, one of the key mistakes that we make, as women, is trying to get MEN to validate OUR thought process and OUR reactions. Now, think about what Christian Carter is saying here for a second.

1) Men and women think, inherently, and react differently, to many situations
2) It’s ok when we do not always understand each other; it’s to be expected
3) If we cannot expect to understand them, how is that we, as women, want to MAKE them understand us?

The point is, trying to make a man VALIDATE your feelings and tell you it is ok to feel the way you do or react the way you do is not going to work. What you are trying to do, in essence, is force him to conform to your ideas and beliefs.

I seriously doubt that that is what you mean to do.

But, as Christian Carter says, that is what it feels like to a man when you try to make him validate your feelings or reactions.

What exactly IS validation? Well, validation is when you are, in essence, seeking his approval to feel what you are feeling. It is feeling the need to EXPLAIN every feeling you have, and explain it until he UNDERSTANDS it.

Christian Carter tells women readers in his Catch Him and Keep Him eBook that this is one of the behaviors that men view as needy and as a turn off. Christian is not saying it IS – he is saying it is how it is generally perceived by men. Again, the gap of understanding between men and women can be more like a gulf at times, and this is one of those things that separate the men from the women.

So what, as women, do we do? Well, simply stop. First and foremost – you are your own person, You do not NEED validation from anyone to know that your own feelings are valid, true and uniquely yours. It is what makes YOU- you. You need to understand that your views do not depend on others, and that you just simply do NOT NEED his validation.

Christian Carter says that the confidence alone that comes from knowing you need no one else’s validation is a HUGE attraction boost, and will help you to Catch him and Keep Him.

Christian Carter of Catch Him and Keep Him

Christian Carter of Catch Him and Keep him is a highly controversial guru on the dating advice scene these days. If one does a web-search on Christian Carter, many pages pull up leading the reader to two different genres of websites - the ones who love him and the ones who hate him.
 

The Christian Carter haters camp - those websites such as Ripoff reports and others who monetize on disgruntled customers and negative advertising often claim that Christian Carter is a non-entity - he is fake and just another version of David DeAngelo or Eben Pagan. This is easily disproven, as anyone who has watched on of Christian Carter's videos knows - he is a tall, good looking man with dark hair, a melting smile and a soft, pleasant voice. David DeAngelo, on the other hand (also known as Eben Pagan) is a completely different person and can be seen on any of his products that he produces.  You can see a Christian Carter video HERE and a David Deangelo video HERE.  Obviously different people.

I have found support for Christian Carter's products to be very helpful, as well, and reachable at the support email address.  

 
They do work together - Christian Carter giving information to women on dating advice and relationship help, and David D giving advice to men on the same kinds of things. Together, they form the yin and yang of a company that has been on the online dating scene for many years.
 
Those who love Christian Carter are those women who have truly taken the time to listen to his advice. Granted - not everyone will benefit from it because every individual is different, however, he makes a genuine effort to help women overcome their inner barriers in the relationship world and come out stronger healthier and with an unmistakable growth in self-esteem and self-worth.
 
Christian Carter takes women through an inner journey in his programs, challenging them to really look at themselves and learn that the only thing they can fix in a relationship is THEMSELVES - working from the inside out to make their relationships stronger and lasting.

Christian Carter offers many programs, from a wildly popular eBook called Catch Him and Keep Him, full of over 260 pages of dating advice for women that begins with an inner journey and expands into advice and tips for how to attract men, how to deal with your own emotions in a healthy and positive way, to communication secrets and having long term relationship success. His other programs include Natural and Lasting Attraction, Communication Secrets, Finding Love Online, Inside the Mind of a Man, Ready for Love and others.

Christian Carter gains his experience from real life – by educating himself with real women in his life, his background and his circle of friends, family and acquaintances. Christian Carter prides himself on an intuitive understanding of relationships and women, growing up in a female-centered household and being exposed from a very young age to an open and communicative environment. In short, Christian Carter is a real man, a down to earth person with an instinctive ability to help women deal with their inner game, social issues, and relationships with other people.